In my previous post, I wrote of who I am in God's view, in terms of a relationship with Him, and His promises. It's important to understand who I am in relationship to myself, and why I so desperately need the gifts He offers.
I'm a fraud.
A lying, deceitful fraud.
Ask me how I'm doing, and I'll tell you that I'm feeling great, and everything is fine. Can't have you thinking I'm weak or needy. I'll even pretend to be interested in how you're doing, but in my mind, a dozen things are vying for the top position of my attention. Important things, mind you, like worrying about something that may or may not happen tomorrow, or trying to set aside some time for self-loathing.
The funny thing is that when my mind is occupied with those boogeymen and imagined needs, I rarely stop to think about what my true needs are.
I need the joy of the Lord, because I am weak and need strength.
I need His courage to face my fears, because He has overcome the world.
I need His Holy Spirit, to teach me, and bring His Word to my remembrance.
I need His Truth, to set me free from the chains of the world, and even more from the chains I forge and place upon myself.
I need His forgiveness, because I have failed Him. And you. And myself.
I need to remember that He has made me new, so that I can walk in the light, and not remain in the darkness.